Me, my solitude and Raju's 350D - Part 2

Its been nearly two weeks of probation period at VT. Me and Raju's camera (canon 350 D) did get to see some amount of life in Bangalore which was previously unknown to us. From Page 1 to Page 3 we have got to see a great deal of Bangalore. Sometimes boring stories and sometimes stories which reaffirms faith in the work I have set about doing, they all seem to be part of the game.

The two days I spent about covering the Tibetan Uprising day events have enhanced my confidence a great deal. I was surrounded by photographers who were working for agencies like Reuters,AP,PTI and AFP. It felt great to know that I was trying to capture in frames the story which they were interested too. I knew the event had a worldwide significance. For the first time I was given an opportunity to compare my work with the agencies worldwide. Well, its a different issue that the equipments they had at their disposal were technically far more superior than my buddy, the canon 350D. But hey! who cares? Me and 350D accepted the challenge gracefully. It was natural that I went back home and compared my work with theirs which was updated on the agencies' websites. And I am being frank, I was impressed with my work on the Tibetan story which was done on 350D. This was a boost for me. Someday I'll definitely make it to one of the agencies.

But as the story goes, only one image made it to print from those 2 days:-(. Now, for the first time I got an insight into the business of newspapers. There were local issues and advertisements which needed space. Tibetan struggle somehow didn't fit the scheme of Bangalore centric newspaper.I had to kiss this fact. I had shot some page3 kinda pictures on the same day. They made it in large numbers. Something new about professional modern day journalism I had learned.

Life goes on; So I moved on from Rakshita's Mehendi ceremony payasam to buffets at Star hotels of Bangalore while covering events and press meets. A trip to IIMB and freezing the future corporate czars of India, listening to a Tibetan hero who one day I know shall be the leader of modern independent Tibet(if Tibet's destiny has independence in it), meeting visionaries of Karnataka state and then attempting an undercover operation in Bangalore subways where prostitution was rampant; it surely has been a great ride so far. I have come to know my limitations as well as my buddy 350D's. But we have to learn to live with our limitations and make the most of it. And yeah, my probation at VT has nearly come to an end and I am waiting to hear from the Resident Editor on my future here. I have a feeling that I have done well. I hope they tell me soon. I have to return Raju's 350D and buy mine soon.

Retrospecting through the last few months, I have come to realise that I am walking with huge weight on my shoulders. No, its not Raju's camera bag:-). The weight I am referring to is of the expectations and dreams. I have realized that I am not just in a process of trying to realize my dreams. I am in fact trying to realize a million dreams. I was not alone, there are a large number of people who were and still are caught in a life they are not really keen on leading. But they do not want to risk an adventure to change things. I decided to break free and yeah I know, my decision had shocked many people. I can hear the words "Your son needs counselling I guess" still ringing in my ears. People who could draw similarities between their lives and mine have regularly been in touch with me. They are hoping I succeed in whatever I have set about doing. They are trying to realize their dreams of breaking free and reaching the pinnacle through me. And my friend, that is a huge pressure situation here. But I seem to love it.

I know that if all shall go well,
I'll be a legend walking with applause.
And if fate shall have its way,
I'll still be a martyr of my own cause.
-Nishant Ratnakar